America’s #1…In Drug Use
Tired of hearing about how America is going down the tubes? Sure our dollar is almost worthless, our housing market is only kept afloat by wealthy European investors, the stock market is damn near entering a bear market, we are in a 100 year war, our personal freedoms and privacy are being taken away daily and our President, well, he is who he is, but lift your heads up fellow patriots! America is #1 in drug use according to Gawker. Out of 17 nations included in the poll, America rolled them up and smoked them for breakfast! With more than 16% of Americans having tried coke and 42% having tried weed, the rest of the world cannot touch us in our drug fueled victory!
Don’t let this victory go to your heads though, I hear next years competition will be judged on Mexican mud and peyote use. Start training now people!
(AS|D Labs does not condone or recommend the use of illegal substances, regardless of how cool they may be or good they may make you feel)
